Golden Pony Boy

Hi there

It’s been a long time, I know. I’m not dead or anything. I’ve just had various reasons for not writing.

Not that I have any special reason to be writing today. Except…

Something is happening with my heart. A healing. Its pretty choice. I am surrounded by boys in love, boys declaring love, boys being romantic. There was a movie “the Science of Sleep” where the boy was romantically, painfully in love. Then there’s the album “Special Surprise” which is love song after love song from Luke to Sarah. Then there was Golden Pony Boy who I kissed. He said “Oh! My heart is beating!” I agreed that it was very good and exciting. So we had sex together and it was awesome and exciting and sweet. Golden Pony Boy talked to me in a bar about his heart. He made me feel deserving of love, like I wouldn’t even consider wasting my time with anything else. Then there was the hippy boy, who channelled shit-loads of chi into me.

I’ve been trying to avoid my heart for a long time now. Now it seems like somewhere I’d like to spend some time in.

I feel strong and powerful. Like the girl who wouldn’t even consider anything other than romance, sweetness, fun and love. It makes me realise that I have been living for so long in a painful state where I’ve been denying my heart, desperate for any scraps of anything that I could use as a substitute for love. But putting those things in my heart just hurt me.

It took Golden Pony Boy and me talking in a bar with that instant honesty, respect and trust that just blows me away. It took Golden Pony Boy to talk to me like a girl worthy of love, respect, openness and trust to realise that I am.

And even though things are not likely to progress with Golden Pony Boy I am so grateful for seeing that I can still meet new people who blow me away, heal me, excite me, laugh with me, talk to me in safety, make me come and share their heart.

xx

Listening to:
Luke Buda: Special Surprise - Buy it now.